Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Sometimes He Screams

I'm old enough to know that sometimes God whispers things to us. In quiet moments of the day He'll inject His take on things; implant a thought with that "little voice" in my head. (Admit it, you have one too.)

But ya know what, even He will sometimes scream! Maybe not in the I saw a snake way. But He can literally beat us over the head with His intention for us.

We left a church almost two years ago. We were unimpressed with the level of importance we viewed them having on children. If I'm being honest I felt a tug on my heart, a whisper perhaps, that my abilities would allow me to jump in and help in the effort to change that level of importance there. I said, "Say what?" and I've been arguing ever since as we searched for a more ideal church home.

A minister at that old church had really upset me. He thought it was more my responsibility for my children's spiritual education that middle aged or older folks in the church. That was absurd to me. We are all called to teach and mentor and raise up our children. I mean, it takes a village, right?

So, after two years away, we went back to that old church this past weekend. As much anxiety as we had, to an extent it felt like going home. And even though that went well, I still found myself feeling the Lord's urging to be the change I want to see. Well, arguing with God rarely goes well. Okay, it never does. So today, He screamed.

First thing this morning I opened one of my e-devotionals. It read:

Proverbs 12:24 - Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.

"Argh!" He can't want me to get involved. I'm a control freak. People in charge catch the brunt. Lead something and you're a target for criticism and complaints. He can't mean this.

So I opened a second e-devotional. Maybe this one will say to do whatever I'm comfortable with or that the first one didn't mean me. It read:

"... Talk to God about everything, even your doubts and arguments."

Are you kidding me? Really? Really? No, I'm reading number 3. Something is going on here and it isn't funny. At all. Argh again. I mean, I can't go back and try to work with that person I so disagree with. Number 3 read:

"Father, it isn't them. Help me remember the fault lies with me."

SCREAMING! Unless I'm being Punk'd, He screamed. I'm flabbergasted. I'm humbled. I'm listening.