I'm usually at worship right now. I'm only just coming out of a fog called a migraine. I tried to put into words to my husband last night just how badly I had been suffering. It's hard to do.
I woke up early yesterday morning with some mild pain. I went back to sleep and when I got up at 10:30 (thanks to hubby letting me rest) it was gone. Around 5:30 I started having some pain in my neck and at the base of my skull. By 7 pm I could no longer walk upright and speaking became difficult.
I laid on my bed and tried to decide if it hurt worse to breathe more frequent shallow breaths or to hold my breath and take a deep breath less frequently. The pain rolled through my head like a wave. It actually felt like the pain was a wave of water going back and forth across my head.
Nausea set in and the fun part that comes after that. I finally begged for Excedrin which I knew had caffeine in it. Any small amount of caffeine keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning. I was hurting so bad I didn't care. I started to feel our Christmas Eve rituals slipping away from me and I was so saddened to have part of my life wasted by these devils called migraines that stop me dead in my tracks.
Finally after three bouts with my trash can I managed to wedge my head into my pillow against the headboard of our bed. Thinking about that position really begs the question of how I could find comfort like that.
I thought, "God, if only you'll take away this pain ... I'd give you anything ..." I think I really meant ANYTHING.
I managed to doze off and awoke at 11 pm. There was a dull pain left but you can put up with anything when you're coming off of a migraine. I was awake until almost 6 am. I got back to sleep just in time to get up and help get the kids ready for church. It was hard not to go with them. This is always a nice time of year to see visitors at church and be with our church family. I just couldn't do it.
For all of you who suffer with migraines, I feel ya! I wish they were easier to control. I have to say though there's nothing like pain so bad you wish someone would chop off your head to get you humbled and on your knees knowing someone else is in total control of your life.
For those of you who don't believe your loved ones are migraine sufferers or think they are putting on, after all it is just a headache, I have a message for you. I won't wish such a pain upon you but here's a visual. Imagine taking a hammer and smashing it down on your finger as hard as you can. Multiply that times 20. Then factor in every single sound, every single ray of light, and every shallow breath you take magnifies the pain even more. You still have no idea.
I have a wonderful husband who brings my cold cloth and offers proper placement of my trash can. He rubs my back and squeezes my head when I'm in the throws of the worst of it. He lets me know I'm not alone and gives such precious care to me. I'm a very lucky woman.
I'm ordering a t-shirt today that says I SURVIVED THE WORST MIGRAINE OF 2006. Just kidding, though I do deserve an award.