Monday, December 20, 2004

What Child is This?

I've been looking for titles of Christmas songs that would fit or could be finagled into the title of a post. This one sounded good today.

Will cries ... a lot. I have a policy about not letting a newborn cry for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. So, I don't get much done on the days when he cries. And those days far outnumber the quieter ones.

I was prepared for the lack of sleep a newborn brings. Actually, I wasn't as prepared as I thought. With Trini I could nap during the day when she was sleeping. You can't do that with a second child because the older one is there. However, the loss of sleep really hasn't been that bad.

The days it hits the hardest are the days filled with tears. (Which happen to be the days he cries too.) (Did you catch that?) Those days are rough. I'm surprised Trini, our dogs and myself haven't formed some kind of "gone crazy secret cult".

Actually, I think the two bigger dogs are terrorizing one of the neighbors dogs through the fence in the backyard. I saw Simba looking through a hole in the fence the other day and he just seemed to be plotting something big. But that's another story ...

What child is this? I was not prepared for the crying. Maybe I just never put Trinity down that much because I didn't have another child to take care of. Maybe I didn't have anything else in the world to do. Something tells me that's not it though.

Some days he just cries. He's fed, well fed I might add. He's freshly changed. He's been de-gasified with mylicon drops. He's swaddled up which still seems to make him very happy. There seems to be no reason for the tears. Sometimes even being held doesn't silence him. Nursing always does though. Luckily we've never had a spell that nursing wouldn't calm.

Lately he has been sleeping better at night. And, a recent development is him sleeping in his room. He's still in his carseat most of the time but he has made it to his room. I don't know how I feel about that. He's only three months old. I think I still have the need to keep him close. His needs are above mine, but I have to know as well that he doesn't need to be close to me. I'm not convinced of that yet.

He does end up in his swing in our room sometime during the night. And I always sleep a little better knowing he's nearby. He's my miracle, my gift from God. Tears or not I absolutely adore him and I am so thankful to have a son.

So I'll keep putting off all those daunting household tasks and errands and forward items in my planner to days ahead. I'll hold him when he needs it and comfort him when he cries. And when I complain I'll remember that I chose motherhood and God granted me the greatest blessing on earth. I know I'll forget on those most challenging days, but God will keep me in check. He has a way of doing that. After all, He's still working on me. - Lesa

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
- Marion C. Garretty



1 comment:

Chad said...

We understand your pain. Jenna has spent several nights sleeping in her carseat rather than her crib. I remember getting her out at 11:30 p.m. and coming home shortly after midnight and I just left her in her carseat. She slept that night until about 4:00 a.m. there.