Thursday, January 13, 2005

Position Filled?

Lonesome and bonkers m/w/f in Deer Park, TX, seeking friendly and fun female anywhere within a 30 mile or so radius for a base starting position of aquaintance status with promotion to vice-best friend or assistant best friend in the near future a strong possibility.

I had decided that's how the ad would read. Or something like that ... But I guess I should begin this story by backing up to the events of November, 2004. Or maybe further than that.

We moved to Texas in July 2001 from Crossett, Arkansas, where we had been terribly mis-transplanted for five years. I left with no regrets save one. I had to leave my best friend April behind.

I met her in 1998 and soon discovered we'd gone to high school about 60 miles apart from each other in Texas. It didn't take long to see the makings of a great friendship was there. We seemed to coax each other through day after day in the town the world forgot.

We've only seen each other four times since my family moved three and a half years ago. Sure, we're only a phone call away. And of course when we get together it's like we've never been apart. But the days that hang in the balance between these visits are shadowed with a void that can only be understood by someone who has a long distance best friend.

This passed November April came to visit me. She was here for two nights and I cried for two days after she left. I finally realized just how lonely I had been. I missed having someone to run out to lunch with or go shopping with or just hang out with. I missed having the hugs and together time a local friendship affords.

I told myself then that I had to do something differently. I had to let down some walls and start making some connections with people close by or I was going to remain miserable. Secretly I wanted to seek, not a new best friend for that position is filled all too well, but at least an assistant best friend. And the title mattered.

I didn't want just an aquaintance. No buddy or pal would do. Best friend quality was the desired characteristic. Well, if you aren't in junior high and you aren't a member of any elite social clubs, your options are really limited as to how to go about aquiring such a friend.

I am blessed to be part of a large church family where so much potential in this area lies. But what do you do? Is it appropriate to walk up to someone and let them know you're in the market for an assistant best friend? Is that desperate? Is that offensive?

Well, today I made it to day 11 in "The Purpose Driven Life". As always, He speaks to me. The title of the chapter was, "Becoming Best Friends With God". Surprisingly I found a great deal of joy in just the idea of it. I mean who on earth, literally, would make a better best friend? He can comfort and console, advise and counsel, listen and love, and quite literally read my mind. Problem solved. Position Filled.

In all fairness I have to admit that I have a long way to go on this. It isn't as easy as it sounds. It actually feels a little strange to even think about it if I'm being honest. But it was an obvious signal of just how in touch with the needs of my heart my Heavenly Father truly is.

Now girls, having said that, I would still really like a close girlfriend to gab with now and then. I need some adult connections in this world of diapers and baby talk I'm tumbling through right now. So if a more part time position would suit your needs as well, let's talk! Benefits are full time.

In the meantime, I'm uttering "breath prayers" during the day to build up this most important relationship of all. Today's was, "You are my God". I think maybe tomorrow's will be, "My God, my friend."

He'll have me in all my imperfectionism (is that a word?). His grace reaches even me and His forgiveness that I am in no way worthy of is astounding. Even if comprehension of the magnitude of this friendship is beyond me, He'll love me anyway. He is the perfect friend and He'll be there when no one else will. Can I reciprocate? I have hopes to ... Thank Heavens He's still working on me! - Lesa

"Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway."
- Family Circle

1 comment:

Mae said...

I completely understand what you mean. Since I've been marreid and moved away from my home town, the closeness I have w/ the girls that I grew up w/ just doesn't seem or feel availabe w/ other ladies. My closest current town friends are all retired and at least 40 years older than I am. They're a lot of fun and have so much insight on life, but still, it's just not the same. I feel your pain sister! Go w/ God and I'm sure He'll send someone to you.