There was a magazine article I stumbled across a few years back, before I became a mother. The woman talked of how each time her oldest child celebrated a birthday she had her own celebration. She celebrated the beginning of her motherhood. That made such an impression on me.
Today as my oldest child celebrated 4 years of life, I too took time to celebrate and reflect on the miracle of loving and growing children.
As she told me how smart and "intelliget" her friend Julia is, I was so proud these words were in her vocabulary. She recognizes all of her ABC's and can count to 20 most of the time. She knows every word to The Little Mermaid II by Heart. She is eager for learning time every day. She is my daughter and she is amazing.
As she snuggled up next to me for our cuddle time before bed, I couldn't help but be incredibly thankful that this little person loves me and values our time together. I cherish the days that she still wants to curl up in my lap and be swaddled by the warmth of my arms for I know these days will pass all too soon.
She changed my life. She was the first thing in my life I couldn't quit. I have never once regretted or resented becoming a mother. I came across a song a few months ago, just after her little brother arrived. I had never heard it before but it was love at first listen. I can't hear it without tearing up and I can't sing it without crying. It goes something like this:
"In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be, in my daughter's eyes.
In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light, and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me, gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe, in my daughter's eyes.
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hanging on when you're heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light, it's in my daughter's eyes.
In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
And though she'll grow and someday leave
And maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you'll see how happy she made me
For I'll be there, in my daughter's eyes."
The day I heard this song, Will had been crying all day long. As a mother it's not even a job or a duty or even our responsibility to "hang on when we've had enough" or to "give more when we feel like giving up". It just is. This just equals motherhood.
I am so blessed to be among the mothers who've gone before me. The women who've known the pleasure that children bring; the women who've hung on and given more. I thank God for teaching me how to be this kind of human being. He's given me the perseverance that only a mother knows.
I still have my weaknesses but through my children I grow and change and hopefully become a little bit better of a human being every day. It's the best way I can think of to grow. Thank goodness He's still working on me through my precious little angels. - Lesa
"Never did God show such love as when He placed you in my arms and said,
'Woman, behold thy daughter.' "
- Author Unknown