Migraine Misery

I'm usually at worship right now. I'm only just coming out of a fog called a migraine. I tried to put into words to my husband last night just how badly I had been suffering. It's hard to do.

I woke up early yesterday morning with some mild pain. I went back to sleep and when I got up at 10:30 (thanks to hubby letting me rest) it was gone. Around 5:30 I started having some pain in my neck and at the base of my skull. By 7 pm I could no longer walk upright and speaking became difficult.

I laid on my bed and tried to decide if it hurt worse to breathe more frequent shallow breaths or to hold my breath and take a deep breath less frequently. The pain rolled through my head like a wave. It actually felt like the pain was a wave of water going back and forth across my head.

Nausea set in and the fun part that comes after that. I finally begged for Excedrin which I knew had caffeine in it. Any small amount of caffeine keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning. I was hurting so bad I didn't care. I started to feel our Christmas Eve rituals slipping away from me and I was so saddened to have part of my life wasted by these devils called migraines that stop me dead in my tracks.

Finally after three bouts with my trash can I managed to wedge my head into my pillow against the headboard of our bed. Thinking about that position really begs the question of how I could find comfort like that.

I thought, "God, if only you'll take away this pain ... I'd give you anything ..." I think I really meant ANYTHING.

I managed to doze off and awoke at 11 pm. There was a dull pain left but you can put up with anything when you're coming off of a migraine. I was awake until almost 6 am. I got back to sleep just in time to get up and help get the kids ready for church. It was hard not to go with them. This is always a nice time of year to see visitors at church and be with our church family. I just couldn't do it.

For all of you who suffer with migraines, I feel ya! I wish they were easier to control. I have to say though there's nothing like pain so bad you wish someone would chop off your head to get you humbled and on your knees knowing someone else is in total control of your life.

For those of you who don't believe your loved ones are migraine sufferers or think they are putting on, after all it is just a headache, I have a message for you. I won't wish such a pain upon you but here's a visual. Imagine taking a hammer and smashing it down on your finger as hard as you can. Multiply that times 20. Then factor in every single sound, every single ray of light, and every shallow breath you take magnifies the pain even more. You still have no idea.

I have a wonderful husband who brings my cold cloth and offers proper placement of my trash can. He rubs my back and squeezes my head when I'm in the throws of the worst of it. He lets me know I'm not alone and gives such precious care to me. I'm a very lucky woman.

I'm ordering a t-shirt today that says I SURVIVED THE WORST MIGRAINE OF 2006. Just kidding, though I do deserve an award.

Family Ties

We spent all day yesterday down in the big city of Columbus, Texas, at my Aunt Ilee's house. My mom's entire extended family was there and it was such a wonderful day.

Aunt Ilee hosted the event with her husband Uncle Dan. (My uncle, not hers. : ) Their country home was the ideal setting for such a sepcial day with haylessride included. Their oldest son Danny and his wife Trish made it along with kids Elyssa and Jayden. Their youngest son Ryan came too with wife Ashley and new Baby Faith. Their daughter Jenny her husband Jack and son Casey didn't make it but we were graced with the presence of her two youngest sons, Colton and Chase. SWEETIE PIES!!

My Uncle Mike was there with my Aunt Bobbie. Their kids Crystal and Cody made it along with married daughter Courtney, husband Mike and kiddos Haylee and Chance.

My Mother Pat and step-dad David came. My sister Kara and her husband Chad were there with kiddos Hannah and Jackson. Our little sister Keli came with her kids Daniel, Andrew, Nathan, and petite bebe' Makayla.

Rounding out the group was my 82 year old Poppa and his sweet new wife Bettye.

I can't remember a time in my life that the people in that house yesterday didn't encompass. We've been on trips across the country together. We've celebrated many a Thanksgiving and many more a Christmas together. We've stood side by side at funerals; one a pain so deep we almost couldn't bear. We've sat together and sang together at weddings. We've seen babies born and our families grow.

Personally it feels so unique to me that we still make this get together a priority every single year. It's important to every one of us.

And did I mention we sing together? How many families, if they get together at all, have a common thread deep of enough to enact it year after year? We sing for hours sometimes. We raise our voices in song lifting praises to our Heavenly Father. The core group has married and drawn in more singers (or converted singers ourselves!). Can you imagine what a blessing it is to have this kind of family structure as the corner stone for your life? We have something that other families envy and when they speak of togetherness, they only wish they had a fraction of what we've found.

Yesterday was bittersweet for me. As wonderful a day as it was, I knew in my heart it would be one of the last times my family would be able to be present with everyone since we're moving to Colorado. I tried hard to hold myself together. I didn't want to sadden anyone else. My Poppa's prayer before our meal got me. And then we sang ...

I thank my Heavenly Father for these people He placed in my life. I thank Him for the years of togetherness. I thank Him for almost hayless hayrides. I thank Him for the Christian examples they've set for me. I thank Him for the love that pours out when one of us is in need. I thank Him for blessing me so richly. I thank Him for these STRANGE and unique people. I thank Him that I call them family.

Thank you Cappses, Shumways, Dillards, Barringtons, Flemings, and Dennises. No amount of miles will distance my heart from yours.

Times They Are a Changin'

Wow!

I haven't written since March? Wow! Oh, I already said that.

Here is a picture of the Brassette Bunch. My little ones are growing up. Oh my heart ... my cup runneth over. He's 2 and she'll be 6 in February.

Well, the season is in full swing. My mind is on what happens when it is all said and done. When Christmas is over, that means we hit "get the house ready to put on the market" at full speed ahead. I'm not sure I'm ready to face that.

You see, our family is relocating to Grand Junction, Colorado. (For some reason it feels like Missouri flows well after GJ.) It's gorgeous there. We'll get a little bit bigger and little bit newer house. (For a LOT more money.) There's a wonderful church family we're eager to work with waiting on us. The opportunities for Mark and for our family are endless. I truly am excited.

I just haven't come to terms with the leaving people here side of it yet. ARGH. Putting the house on the market will be a stern jolt of reality. I'm a little nervous. Heavenly Father has been in this from the start. He knew I needed a change. He knew Mark needed to realize his infinite potential. Great things await us ...

More to come I hope and plan ...

Tom Delivers

Last Thanksgiving I hosted my family at our house. I cooked my first turkey. Though no one verbalized it, the hint of doubt and worry was in the air. I have to admit even I had my doubts. Who wants to mess up the cornerstone of the feast that is Thanksgiving?

Everyone had their two cents to put in. EVERYONE, including the dogs, has an opinion on the best method, proper cooking time, or yummiest stuffing and seasonings.

Well, I went with my own methods and opinions. (I do this with just about everything else in my life. Why stop here I thought?) I combined suggestions from several different things I read but used ideas found from Leanne Ely (of Flylady fame) the most.

Folks, I gotta tell you, I DONE SO GOOD!!! That turkey was falling off the bone it was so moist and tender. The veggies and apple from inside were falling apart too. It was a beautiful bronzey brown and I beamed with pride the rest of the day. Oh, and I had it done on time too!!!

I have my method and cooking times written down in my Control Journal that I affectionately call my Brassette Household Operations Manual. So, I'll be pepared to tackle it again this year.

Tom Delivered ... in a big way. Can't believe I spent all of those years so concerned about cooking a bird! I don't think it was at all the monumental task I had made it up to be. Oh, and I dare not call it a bird out loud. Trini still isn't sure about the whole "food turkey" and "real turkey" situation. - Lesa

Blogging in Spirit

Wow, October 3. That's a bit pathetic on my part. What the heck have I been doing since then to keep me from posting? Well, I discovered Flylady.net in early November and have jumped into that with both feet! That's been blessing my family and myself. I sailed through the holiday season and my 32nd birthday. But blogging has been on my heart.

I've been keeping a running list of blog topics to write about. I'll post them and if you happen to wander back here to my blog, drop me a line if any sound interesting. I'll try to post again soon.

• The Mountain Has No Ears
• Can't Live Without 'Em
• Unexpected "Blade" Preview
• Is it Just Me? (Don't choose this one ... I can't remember what it means!)
• Sweet Dreams
• Verifying Codes
• Urban Stampede
• Christmas Casualties
• Tom Delivers
• Tagged - Weird Things About Me (Compliments of Deana)
• Thank You, Sharon Grimes
• Flylady: My Hero, My Saint

Anything sound interesting? It's good to be back. I'll do better.

Truly Bare Necessities

Anyone been shopping in Deer Park recently? Our Wal-Mart Supercenter is out of eggs! Completely! Our Kroger is almost completely out of bread. (Although they have several packages of high-end Pepperidge Farm specialty breads.) And they are out of CREAM OF CHICKEN soup! What's up??????? That's a staple in my house. I had plans to cook with it twice during the next week and a half.

Our Kroger has also undergone some major renovations as of late. It is a little inconvenient but not the major catastrophe some of my fellow shoppers were making it out to be. For example, while the sour cream is no longer by the yogurt, it is in the milk coolers. They didn't move it to the middle of the canned goods or anything like that.

People were just so aggravated about all this. After shopping at a tee-tiny little Brookshire's for five years in Arkansas, I love my Kroger and don't care how they re-arrange. If my Oreos end up in the meat section, I'll find them. No worries.

"Swallowing angry words is always easier than eating them." - Author Unknown

Evacuation Emotions

I never thought about evacuations before. We've lived in Deer Park for four years now. I suppose we once thought we might have to leave, but never got much further into than that.

Packing up, getting the essentials, and gathering a few precious mementos (the kids' baby books, our wedding video, etc.) was really draining for me. I thought what if the contents of our van was all we had when the wind calmed and the water receded? Oddly enough, God graced me with a peace that I still don't understand.

Mark installed put up our plywood shutters so when I turned off the last lights, there was silence and darkness in the house. I flipped the switch off and then right back on. One last look at my safe place, my refuge, my home. It became clear I should have let Mark lock up. As I got in the van, tears silently flowed. I'd been holding them back all day for the benefit of our four year old.

She had a hard time with this. We had encouraged her to pray for Katrina victims and donate to the relief efforts. She had a pretty good idea of how devastating a hurricane can be. We had to play up the trip as a vacation but she still had her worries.

As we made our way up north, we passed so many cars filled to the top with possessions and persons. Little kids huddled in back seats surrounded by pillows and blankets and teddy bears. I actually teared up for so many of these people, so sorry they were running from Rita. I suppose I was in "vacation" mode though I guess most would call it denial.

We stayed at 3 hotels during our adventure. Nothing like a good dose of reality to make you appreciate your situation. Every hotel was filled with evacuees who remained from Hurricane Katrina. We would go home soon. They had no idea if they even still had a home.

The worst thing that could happen now is another hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. So many of us are weary and tired. I can see where many wouldn't even try to leave again. I would. Give me life, with my 3 precious loves and my 3 pooches. I choose them over bricks and shingles any day. We're just blessed to have the means and opportunity to leave.

I'll have to blog our evacuation story soon. We had an adventure!

"Take life in little pieces, one piece at a time." - Author Unknown

Mission: Organization

I am so hooked. Anybody out there addicted to this show on HGTV? As a perfectionist I am by nature a procrastinator and keeper of a cluttered house. I just have to tell you that this show has made an overwhelming difference around here.

Every few days Mark comes home to a box or bag of donation items to take to the garage. This show has really helped me learn to sort and purge things that I have been holding on to. I'll admit that it is easier to purge and sort in the kids' rooms, but I've been doing a bang up job in my room and our huge walk-in closet. It feels good to get rid of things.

The closet runs the length of our bedroom and is about five feet wide. It became the dumping ground for homeless items I found around the house after William took over the junk/guest room. Lately I could only walk about half way back into it. I pulled the old shelving out and put in a system of cubbies that looks like it is going to work perfect for home office supplies and some of our homeschooling items. Oh yes, and room for my greeting card collection.

That's right. I collect greeting cards. Now, I didn't know this until I started working in my closet. But as I began emptying out the closet, I'd find a box here and a bag with 2 or 3 boxes there. 21 ... that's TWENTY ONE ... boxes later, I really feel I have a problem. Or at the very least some "issues".

Sometimes I feel like I need to de-clutter my brain too. I remembered this week that Trini's dentist owed us a $25 refund from six months ago. How does that work? How can I remember knowing that they did in fact owe us, but not remember for the six months in between the point in time when I figured it out and when it returned to my mental in-box?

Something happened to my brain cells when Will was born. I didn't notice problems after Trini, but child number two has zapped me. My mental notepad ran out of paper months ago and the refill light blinks occasionally but I'm too tuckered out to reload most of the time.

I'm feeling a little stressed right now. I have several items to do that I'm juggling and I just know one is going to come crashing down any moment. Let's see ... Will's first birthday party and Trini's first ever soccer game ... on the same day, the new Bible Class Quarter starting at church, wall paper that I need to finish and some painting to get done before Will's party preferably, and all the dozens of things that I'm probably forgetting because of that blooming empty mental notepad.

I do love that God led me to start getting a Bible verse of the day from the Bible League. It's one to two verses and then a 3-4 sentence devotional. Every single day the new verse speaks to me and something going on right then. No matter how nuts I think I am, He's still working on me and giving me the tools to make changes to make life better around here. - Lesa

"What I can do plus what God can do equals enough." - A Free Methodist

Fascinating Me ... ?

The title is not to say that I am fascinating. Well, not exactly anyway. More so it is to say that there's something really simple out there that has been fascinating to me.

While looking up soccer information recently, I came across the website for the City of Pasadena. It had the council members listed with a brief biography of each one. It was really neat to see where people had been born, gone to school, how and where they had met their spouses, when they'd had children and so on. Just plain, regular people and I was captivated for quite sometime.

So, I'm going to be a trend setter. (That's only if everyone who reads this follows suit ... hint hint.) I'm going to start a post called Fascinating Me. If you decide to do it too, please leave a comment so that I can be fascinated by you as well!

In 1973 at Memorial Hospital in Lufkin, Texas, I entered this here old world. My parents, who were both 18 at the time, were married just six months earlier. Need I say more? They would divorce before I reached the age of 3.

My mother re-married in 1979 and we celebrated their 25th anniversary last year. I grew up living with them and my first two little sisters in Lufkin, while my father and his second wife and my third little sister lived in Houston, two hours away.

We moved to Garland, TX, in mid-1985, then to Lake Charles, LA, in late 1986. I finished middle school and started senior high at Barbe High School there. I didn't know it then and certainly wouldn't have guessed that I had met (and looked over) the eternal love of my life.

We moved to Round Rock, TX, in early 1989. Life really took off for me there. I excelled in Band and Choir at Round Rock High School. I made some of the best friends ever that I still keep in touch with to this day. I was courted by a missionary's son, long-distance from Aruba, and really thought our future was set.

In late 1990 the greatest loss of my life until that point occurred. My Granny lost a six month long battle with cancer and passed from this world. It was really devastating to our whole, extended family and I really don't think we've recovered from that even now. I have to say though that I've noticed in the last few years that I am able to think of her and smile where there were only tears before. Time does heal, thankfully.

I ended up moving in with my father and sister in the middle of my senior year of high school. I turned 18 and thought I knew it all. What a schmuck. I graduated from Westfield High School in Houston with people I barely knew and have barely spoken to since. Live and learn.

Thank heavens for old girlfriends who have cute guys as friends. Mark brought an old friend of mine to see me in 1992. It only took us 2 years after that to actually start dating! And we had to go and put over 400 miles between us first with me being back in Round Rock in 1994 and him in Baton Rouge, LA, attending LSU.

We dated for almost a year before I moved Baton Rouge. He proposed on our one year "dating" anniversary and we got married 5 months later in August 1995. (We wanted to marry before the Fall semester started. That was the only rush.) Oh, and we honeymooned at Walt Disney World!

We moved to Po-dunk, I mean Crossett, AR, in 1996 right after Mark graduated from LSU. He's an engineer girls ... :-)! I hated Crossett. I all but refused to bloom where I was planted on that one. Then I met my April ... my buddy! We went to high school in Texas within 90 miles of each other and it took the state of Arkansas to bring us together as adults. Serving on the Board of Directors for the Ashley County Humane Society together didn't hurt. And April is the one I wrangled into taking Cake Decorating classes with me.

I rededicated my life to God in July 2000. I haven't looked back yet. He's been so good to me even when I wasn't interested in returning that love.

Mark and I were blessed with daughter Trinity Faith in 2001 and soon moved to Deer Park, TX, where we are so happy and reside still. She may not have been born in Texas but we got her here as fast as we could! We suffered a miscarriage in late 2003 which was so devastating after trying for 11 months. Then our ray of sunshine ... William Christian joined our clan in the fall of 2004. He's a Texas thoroughbred.

Our family worships our Heavenly Father at Missouri Street Church of Christ in Baytown, TX. We're forming bonds with fellow Christians that will sustain us and our children through our walk of faith on this earth and serving our Father as we go.

This Friday Mark and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. It's almost hard for me to believe. A girl who came from divorced parents, who moved around without any real ties for so long. I never thought I'd have such a stable relationship to call my own. I'm thankful everyday for the life and the love we share and for our two precious little gifts from God who fill my days with so much sunshine and joy (and frustration occasionally).

Little details, all compiled, make up a life that was purposed long before my parents even knew. Maybe I'm not fascinating to anyone on earth. But my FATHER created me like no one else and HE is fascinated by me. Even when I'm in my pajamas at lunch time and even when I get a little too self-serving and lose my focus on Him. He's still working on me and fabulous or fascinating or ordinary beyond belief, I'm a child of God!

I throw down the gauntlet ... it's your turn to fascinate me ...

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world." -
Author Unknown

Where's My T-shirt?

Well, I went to Wal-Mart yesterday with both kiddos in tow. I'm shocked to report that it went not only bearable but very well. I really feel like I earned a shirt that says, "I survived Wal-Mart alone with both of my kids."

Maybe the t-shirts come when you have "harrowing" experiences like my previous grocery store "event" I blogged about. Normal, calm, uneventful outings go by the wayside. Although my shirt hasn't showed up from that now infamous grocery store catastrophe.

But boy oh boy was I excited yesterday! I think my baby has turned a corner. He still has his rotten sounding screeches but they are getting fewer and further between. He doesn't cry nearly as much as he used to. I don't know, maybe I've gotten faster at shoveling in his bites of food. And maybe I've gotten more attentive to him wanting to be picked up. In some way we've had a change around here and it's a great thing.

Thank You, Father, for this "calm after the storm" that we're living right now. Thank You for the blessing of my kiddos and that I am able and willing to to be all wrapped up in their little worlds! - Lesa

"If God had meant for today to be perfect, He would not have invented tomorrows." - Author Unknown

Closer to Jesus

This summer has been a series of big steps for me. Letting go of my four year old as she ventured off into the unfamiliar world of arts and crafts class and tumbling was difficult. Then the week-long Mini Skyhawks camp came and I thought I would burst from anxiety.

Luckily I found the presence of mind to pray amid my tears (yeah, I'm weird) that God would keep her safe and watch over her, and if He could keep her in once piece for my return. Little did I know she has the whole prayer thing and relationship with God covered herself.

On the last day of camp parents were invited to stay as the kids ran relays and played tournament style soccer and basketball. I had just helped Trini with her water break and was walking back to my seat when a voice said, "She is so precious!"

I turned to find another mom gushing over my child. The woman recalled, "A couple of days ago she was watching some of the other kids climb a tree outside by the soccer field. After a few minutes she said, 'The only reason I would like to climb a tree is to be closer to Jesus.' "

I was blown away. My baby sees Jesus everywhere. God really is in all things for her. I'm so proud that we've raised her to feel that way. And I must admit that I'm ashamed that I'm not nearly as good about it as she is.

My children teach me so much about life. Patience is a prerequisite of living, not just motherhood. My kindness and gentleness, or lack thereof, are reflected in their little actions. Quiet words often make more of an impact than shouting. And now, getting closer to Jesus is the goal of all goals.

Thank you Father for leading Mark and I to raise our babies for you. Thank you that they can see the good in all things, except maybe bedtime. Thank you that we can mimic them when our faith dwindles or when we put seeking a closer relationship with You on the back burner. Through Your Son I pray ... Amen. - Lesa

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." - Marilyn Vos Savant

Stuck

By the way ... when you cover spilled milk with newspaper, the newspaper sticks to the surface you covered. - Lesa

Grocery Store Stir Up

I took my children out to the grocery store by myself week before last. The littlin' is 9 months old and this is only the second or third time I've attempted this. It didn't take long to realize why.

By the time we got to the produce section the baby was screaming. Not an "I'm hungry" scream. Not a "Diaper: Fully Loaded" scream. It was an "If I was older and screaming like this I'd be called a spoiled rotten brat even by parents who detest the use of the word brat" kind of scream. Detail to note, I start my shopping in the produce section.

I pulled out the cheerios which tamed the screeches for half a second at time. I pulled out his little ring toy and even attached it to the cart. He wouldn't even LOOK at it. So I just started moving quickly. I would give those "yes, he's unhappy (we'll pretend he's tired)" glances to fellow shoppers. Some returned their own looks of compassion and others returned looks of, well, I can't write such words.

We got to the yogurt drinks and Trinity was making her choices. A strange woman walked up and told me not to get the orange ones, which Trinity had in her hand. Apparently this lady drank one once, in 1987, and it made her throw up. I thought "Who are you? And who talks to a total stranger about wretching?" So, I picked up a second pack of orange ones and tossed 'em in the basket and whisked off down the next aisle at speeds that would impress Nascar.

Finally we got to the frozen food section and it was like the Promised Land, our last stop before checking out. Other than my impending migraine from the shrill screams I'd been enduring, the trip hadn't been all that bad. Then, it happened. Will, my own personal "guy"ser, spit up more juice than a baby could ever drink. It ran down him, my purse, some of the groceries, and splashed my sandal-clad feet as it hit the ground forming a huge puddle on the floor. I was looking for a hose or something because there was no way this could have all come from him.

I looked around for an employee to help me. (Yeah, that'll happen.) My eyes searched desperately for a roll of courtesy paper towels. I knew I had only one mini-tissue in my purse and Will's burprag was already soaked from the cheerios I'd been shoveling in him through out the store. I felt panic set in. Then I calmed down, thought rationally, and did what any good mother would do. I said, "Trini, step over that and walk this way ... really, really fast."

I started piling the groceries onto the conveyor, thinking it couldn't get any worse than that. When I picked up the sour cream and there was white chunky stuff on it I got nervous. I was about to say I didn't want that carton when I noticed other items had white chunky stuff on them. Items that were not touching the sour cream. Yep. My little angel had turned around and spit up on some of the groceries. I was mortified.

We got out of the store without further incident and as the frozen section looked like the Promised Land, my garage might as well have been the PEARLY GATES. I got both kids and four bags of groceries out of the van and headed for the door. I was fumbling for the key when Trini's contribution to the trip that wouldn't quit ocurred. She dropped her opened bottle of milk and it began pouring out on the garage floor.

She picked it up but that didn't stop the spill from rolling toward me and a piece of my great grandmothers' furniture that my husband is working on in the garage. All that could stop it that I could see, and reach, was some newspaper nearby. As I reached for the stack of paper, Trinity's bottle tilted again, toward her this time, drenching her in a wave of white and escalating the flow headed at me to great speeds.

As I got the newspaper down just in time I thought I'd burst into tears. Or at the very least scream at a child or two. But I didn't do it so I know He's still working on me. I started laughing so hard. I thought, no one would even believe this story if I ever have the time to tell it or write it down. You'll have to let me know. And if you think this blog is long, remember it is a true life, real time account of my LAST trip to the grocery store with both of my kids. - Lesa

"God made man at the end of the week when He was tired." - Author Unknown

Little House Lives

Well, as I said so long to "Days" an old love resurfaced. Until recently, I'm not sure I ever knew just how wonderful a show "Little House on the Prairie" was.

Disney made a whole new mini-series of the original television pilot of the show. It aired in March and early April of this year. It brought back so many good memories. I could not wait to see some of the old episodes.

Well, as with anything these days, you can bid on Dvd sets of each season of "Little House" on ebay! I've started collecting them and they are so wonderful! What happened to family oriented shows like this?

My four year old LOVES to watch "Laura". She was disappointed at first because she couldn't find the fairy but that has since passed. That conversation went something like this.

"Mommy, I've been watching and watching and I haven't seen the fairy yet."

"What fairy Trini?"

"The one from this show with Laura."

"Trini, there aren't any fairies in the show with Laura."

"But Mommy, you said this show was about a little house and the fairy."

I laughed and explained and she giggled too. Then we had to have a long discussion about prairies and mountains and valleys, etc.

I guess Michael Landon was the dad we all wanted to have, especially for those of us that were in the limbo of not having a father who was present in our lives. Charles Ingalls was firm but loving and he always knew how to keep his cool or lose it at just the right time.

I had forgotten how much I loved this show when I was growing up. I think I was jealous of Laura for having Pa as a father. When she married her "Manly" I probably hurled looks that could kill at the television. After all, I was supposed to become Mrs. Wilder.

I'm still sheltering Trinity from some of the hunting scenes and some of the brawls that occur, but it has been a great series to re-live with my daughter. She has a "better than Pa" Daddy so she won't have to live vicariously through Laura. That thrills me greatly.

I wish I could have grasped growing up that I had my own "best parent". I wish I would have seen God as a father or even my father, not just THE Father. When I talk to Him now or write down a prayer, that's what He is to me more than anything else in my life. He's Father. Realizing that and embracing it brought me lots of comfort and gave me the grace to forgive some already, though I still have a bit of work to do in the forgiveness department. And with that, He's still working on me. - Lesa

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - Rev. Hesburgh

Days Dies

Just over a month ago I said goodbye to a long time friend. A childhood friend even. I cancelled the timer and turned off the T.V. and haven't looked back since. I've done away with "Days of Our Lives" in my life.

I watched this show close to thirty years ago with my Granny. I watched with my mother when I would be home sick from school or in the summers. It's a legacy in our family I suppose. I even found a husband that was into it enough to schedule some of his college classes around a lunch time focused on "Days".

For some reason though last month I decided I was done. Previews eluded that two couples who were very good friends were basically about to switch spouses. Now of course, two of them are thought to be dead but are really being held captive together in a hidden palace. Something about this, after years of watching the same things, turned my stomach and I just thought enough was enough.

I haven't missed it yet. Knew for sure I'd have some withdrawal pains but it has been painless thus far. The extra hour a day has much better uses. Thank you, God, that even fictional infidelity bothered me and that giving up something for you felt easy to do for a change. I'm so glad you're still working on me. - Lesa

"The best way to drop a bad habit is to drop it." - D. S. Yoder

My Inbox ...

Back on 11/22 I was overwhelmed by 85 emails in my inbox. Today there are 135. JEEPERS!

You Can See My Coffee Table

For the first time in about 3 weeks you can see my coffee table again. It amazes me how quickly that glass top gets covered up with the largest variety of items you can imagine.

The first layer usually consists of teeny, tiny toys that come from plastic eggs, vengeful grandparents, or coin machines at the grocery store. Other items may be stray tissue paper from gifts or extra kleenex from an almost sneeze that never was.

Next you'll get to bigger toys like a beanie baby, a Leap Pad backpack, and a box full of stretchy animals that Santa brought (the big dummy). These items can be deposited by an older child or even a tired parent on occasion.

The bottom layer is usually a modpodge of coloring books, sticker craft pages and miscellaneous mail and papers that Mommy has been looking for. No one confesses to placing them there but the peek-a-poo looks suspicious.

When you get to the bottom of the matter there's usually at least one or two renegade stickers partially stuck on smudged and smeared glass underneath the heap. If at least one of those is shimmering or has a smiley face, the journey to the top of the coffee table can be deemed a success as you move on with a smile in your heart.

Life is kind of like that you know. You go through each day trying to get to the heart of the matter; the really important thing hidden beneath all the other "junk" that clutters the day. I have to say though that without the junk we wouldn't appreciate the heart of it all.

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to do a good thing. To lift up a friend in crisis or encourage a struggling soul might take several layers of effort. But if in the end you find a shimmer of hope in their eyes or a smile on their face, the journey to the center of their heart can be deemed a success.

Thank you God for the layers of our lives, even the ones we have to trudge through.

I need to remember that the trudging is a good thing and that I'm in no way above it. Thank goodness He's still working on me! - Lesa

"Every act of love is a work of peace no matter how small."

- Mother Teresa

Abstinence

Don't get excited... this isn't a birds and bees talk! I just realized this morning that now that I have a grabby, cutie patootie baby again, I'm in abstinence mode.

From what????? I'm abstaining from two things for awhile. I went through this with my daughter four years ago. I'm giving up lipstick for I inflict WAY too many kisses to keep up with wiping the excess away. Will's cheeks would get too rosey!

And I'm done with earrings for the time being as well. Call me picky but I like the holes in my ears ... no slits wanted thank you very much. I don't think Will could resist any "on-board" decor that shines or shimmers!

Today is April 3 (although the person who collects the attendance cards at church will think me and my kids were the only ones who worshipped yesterday, since I put 4/2 on ours). Ya know, that was my only goof during my first time ever at church without Mark with our kids. I think I did pretty well.

Anyway, third day of April ... My goal is to have more blogs in April than I did in March. That should be painfully simple seeing as how I had a measley 3 entries last month. I had a lot going on in March. I think the Lord led me to blogging so I'm going to stick with it! And I'm going to try to do better! It's HIS way of working on me! - Lesa

"A simple act of love can make extraordinary things happen."

- Sharon Whitley

They'll Never Know

People without children will never know the joy of finding a pink smiley face sticker in the bottom of the washing machine. I smiled the rest of the day! -Lesa

I've Never Either

I started working on this list several weeks ago. I decided I'd be a copycat to another copycat. It seemed like the courteous thing to do ...

This is all I have so far. Don't think I'll ever get much further so I'm gonna settle for 25 instead of 50. Maybe I'll have a part 2 someday but for now this will have to do.

1. I've never gone skydiving.
2. I've never watched (or loved) Everybody Loves Raymond.
3. I've never regretted becoming a wife and mother.
4. I've never been a bridesmaid.
5. I've never bought a package of baby formula.
6. I've never been to a school dance.
7. I've never shopped on Harwin Street.
8. I've never held my second baby.
9. I've never lived on my own.
10. I've never told a "big player" in my life how drastically they broke my heart.
11. I've never forgotten the awe of the Grand Canyon I saw at the age of 11.
12. I've never wanted to live in Arkansas again.
13. I've never liked vegetables.
14. I've never completed a College Algebra class.
15. I've never sung the Star Spangled Banner in public.
16. I've never been to Hawaii. (Dreaming though ...)
17. I've never cooked a turkey.
18. I've never thought there was any point to being a debutante.
19. I've never thought cotillions were purposeful in anyway.
20. I've never watched an episode of Saturday Night Live.
21. I've never ridden in a limousine.
22. I've never lost my love for miniature golf.
23. I've never been good at driving bumper cars.
24. I've never enjoyed a high school reunion.
25. I've never bought cigarettes.

I was not good at this list. Took me a long time to compile these few. And while I know He's still working on me, I don't think there's many items on this list that would enrich my life if I had ever instead of never. - Lesa

"Be the most you can be, so life will be more because you were."

- Susan Glaspell